| dewy decimal |
2004-06-08 - 6:05 a.m.
Vanessa doesn't call me all the time but just enough for me to know that she's been busy and hasn't forgotten about me.
Sometimes when I am out of touch with my friends, I start obsessing over them. Placing them in scenarios where they have fallen out of love with me and then I start wondering what I'll have to do to get them back. The lengths I am willing to estimate are nothing short of a marathon. Sometimes I am so strange and mental that I have to wonder how people can love me as much as my friends do.
Seeing Jacky again, who now lives in SF, was something I really needed. He'd grown out a beard and declared himself a "panda," which is apparently the asian equivalent of "the bear."
He dragged me through the adult arcades and red traffic signs, and by the end of the night, I was cursing like a sailor and littering mindlessly, until Astra put me in check. Thank God for Astra. My sweet friend Astra, who looks perfect in her own way. In a way that made me notice and want to know her before we'd ever met. Polka dot dresses. Silk bows in her hair. A signature pink or lime green. 5 feet tall. Like I said, perfect.
Jacky asks me, "How can you handle it, D?" in that honest voice that he has with the vocal tightness that implies the slightest condescension.
And I start thinking about, really, how can I handle this? And listening to Jacky and Zac's adventures and how they're reminding me of the city life I love and miss.