| dewy decimal |
2004-10-02 - 12:51 p.m.
Can you believe that I'm still seeing Brandon? I'd been meaning to drop him for the longest time but he just won't let me go.The other week I guess I'd just decided to let it be. Let whatever this is and isn't ride out till there isn't any trail left.
He told me that it didn't matter if I didn't feel the same way, that he would give me as much space as I needed. I call him once, twice a week. My co-workers think that's strange. It sets a wrinkle on their brows.
In other news, yesterday was Vanessa's Birthday. I get so upset with that girl but only because I love and miss her so much.
Last night the muffies had bought a few grams of oki and I didn't do any. I'm rather proud of myself. What made me want to stop again was watching the movie, Less Than Zero, on Bravo.
Most drug related movies (Party Monster, Basketball Diaries, Trainspotting, etc.) makes me want to do drugs even more. It's strange, I know. Like reverse psychology or some shit. But this movie had a character that said she could stop anytime she wanted to but didn't. That made me think of me. Of how I've been doing every kind of shit casually for the past 11 years and how I always say that I can stop but never really do.
I thought about how I can't call this experimentation anymore bcause it's been so thoroughly investigated.
So what is it, then?
It doesn't make me any happier, and though I never pay for the shit, it's costing my sinuses some valuable tissue.
The only good think about it is that when I'm tired it'll get me a lil high, give me a little kick, but even that drops if I don't keep doing it.
I've been thinking, maybe if I'm tired, instead of doing drugs, maybe I should go home and sleep. Sheeez, what a radical idea.
Anyway last night I didn't, and at least that's a start, right?
But enough about that...did yo hear about the series of gay bashings in the Waikiki area? They better not try shit with me cause I keep my .45 by my nuts. F'real FREAL! It's amazing that the areas in which the incidents occurred are usually inundadted with cops. In my experience, the police have never been there for me in my time of need or around when justice is demanded. They only come around to fuck with me.
I've been meaning to tell you about the incident where I got pulled over last week for not having a recon sticker on my MOM's Toyota Corolla. WTF? This car has has stock rims, a straw sized muffler, aloha print seat covers...you can't even pop the trunk from inside, why the fuck would I drop my fucking car, you hateful bitches. All I could think was, are you fucking forreal?
No, you won't find no SHOPO sticker on my car. Fuck no.