| dewy decimal |
2003-12-02 - 4:49 a.m.
Fuck it�s raining hard. Spanking me from the side, slanted and driving. Raining, upside down, it�s even raining from the ground. Hell, this umbrella is doing all it can to keep my head dry. But neck down, my clothes are painted on, cold and heavy.Feels like a chilled laquer.
My shoes with the holes go squish squish through the puddles and it�s a good 4 blocks to the office.
Lavendar petals are getting smashed into the puddles while torrents of water streak the roads. Got me doing hopscotch with the splish splash.
When I get to the office the AC is turning my wet into ice sheets.
Tiff is shuffling through her paperwork and sees me punch the clock inside of this tremble I got goin on, �My God, you�re wet boy. Better get changed out of them clothes before ya get pneumonia.� But the only darn clothes I got is this XXXL T-shirt and my swim trunks, which are Dazey Dukes. But fuck, I�m gonna freeze my ass into gangreen in this muh-fuckin tundra if I don�t get outta these here wet clothes.
So I change, right, and all day people are laughin at me and pinching my ass. The girls especially are all grabby and CK is like, �If I were a gay man I�d be up in your shit right now.� Whoa.
Then Angie comes over to me with this sassy walk, �Sweetie, I gotta say you have got a sweeet bee-hah-nd,� whacking my ass so it bounces just a little. I�m all embarrassed and uncomfortable and am sayin all kinds of stupid shit cause I don�t know what to say to comments like that.
When my boss comes in from jury duty, she sees me smoking a cigarette outside and the shirt is so long it don�t look like I�m wearin no pants and she just gives me this here look, makin her eyes all small, raising her chin up a little and I explain to her like I done explained to everybody today, �Oh, my clothes, hit got all soakin wet when I was a walkin from my car.� Only, don�t seem like nobody want to believe me. These folks think I seriously am trying to be all risqu�. They said so, godammit. But shoot, I can�t be no more mad than a dog can�t help but piss on a tree. It�s funny as all hell, sittin at that computer, runnin around in these coochie cutters, my ass hangin out, tryin to tuck my package right so I don�t look all silly.
Oh boy! You should see it. You should see the way people are tryin hard as all hell not to bust out laughin the moment they see me. But it isn�t as near funny as when I go to the mall after work with Everett, Vanessa, K. Wo, and Lee. This�ll be somethin else. Oh boy. You should see! You should see!