| dewy decimal |
2003-01-20 - 3:21 p.m. 19:59:55
�freaknik. i fucking love freaknik! bumpin and grindin on tha genitals. woohoo! sorry. instead of talking about what i did last night, i've decided to discuss a more serious topic that has been on my mind...namely my hair.
my friends seem to have the delluded idea that somehow by being my friend, they have somehow guaranteed rights to touch my hair. hellz no you fuckin rap bitchez! i know my hair doesn't exactly look super crazy perfect or anything but people have no idea about the styling involved that takes me from fraggle rock to... well...a tamer version of fraggle rock.
When my hair is wet and dries ALAKAZAAR! instant liza minelli. so when not on my cabaret schedule, i am forced to throw on a skully to disarm them strong ass roots. after my hair is somewhat more flaccid i then have to use my sebastian shaper plus on the sides of my head so it doesn't look like i resemble a mushroom or a monk which i naturally do look like. a hybrid mushroom-monk. then because i don't want the top to look too dogboy-esque i use a lighter product, a bumble bumle seaspray which has the matted effect of "just-got-back-from-the-beach-where-i-cruised-the-bathrooms,-sticking-my-penis-into-various-cavities-in-the-wall-look" I then mold the varnished, wiry structure of hair into whatever pretentious, and intimidating hairstyle i can possibly imagine. this week, rockabilly!
so, dear friends if ye readeth this entry, commandment number one: even in thine greatest and most heightened moments of affection ye shall never toucheth my coiff lest ye art ready to faceth my retribution in the form of any arrangement and combination of violent kung fu acts. ps. wish me luck, my first day at the weekly. eeek