| dewy decimal |
2003-05-15 - 6:02 p.m.
After work yesterday, I went bowling at the alley down the street with Jeff and Portfolio. Twan was rockin some obscenely high shorts with his aviators and a deconstructed T-shirt that offered glimpses of his back, his mocha torso. Twan can pull that shit off effortlessly. His legs extend beautifully, long, lean and strong. He slides through space like a butter knife.
So in my hometown we bowled. In my hometown, which is marked by old sugar mills, plantation houses, and soccer leagues, we stuck our fingers in the holes, on the balls, and referred to one another as �faggot.� Believe me we got some looks. The fags are in the building. Cabbage patches after spares, roger rabbits following strikes. I picked a green bowling ball to match my green ringer T. We slid coolly on the slick, glossy floors in our Miu Miu-like bowling shoes, ruining the homogeneity, offering perspective.
At about 4 we went to Indigos and indulged in their $2.75 Martini specials. Their Perfect Mary Martinis are divine. I had four. Jared met up with us and was dressed drearily in his work clothes, which was a pine green outfit entirely from Banana Republic. He knew it was bad. We all knew it. He would offer his flirty eyes to Jeff, waiting for a sign. Twan would look for my attention and when he found it we exchanged looks that said, fucking tacky .
We dropped Twan off at rehearsals and Jeff, Jared, and I went to Hula�s where I had 2 pitchers. M**** and R**** were there, they bought me 3 bloody Marys.
Throughout the night Jared was trying to get even with me for knowing too many people. For having too many people rub on my dick with their conversations. He threw himself at some other guys who fancied his attention and it made me want to fuck him. Three people suggested foursomes to me. Adam gave me a jello shot. Soon we were all fucked up. We left and Jared fell asleep in the car. Resigning his jaw to his chest. I like him when he�s vulnerable, it disables his attention to detail, his plans for retribution. So I started running my fingers through his bouncy hair that made him moan�slurred expressions from a delicious meal. I went home and puked, I was fine this morning.
Today at Vanessa�s house, I told her and Ara about how I really just need affection. It�s nice to be touched, to have your ass in the air, to kiss. I would really just prefer it without the mind-fuck. That kind of romance bleeds me. I become the psycho everyone wants me to be, you see.