| dewy decimal |
2003-03-10 - 5:09 p.m.
i had a typical weekend getting sooperfreakinwasted. spent all my money so that i am once again broke for another ramen and forties consuming two weeks. the most interesting night turned out to be sunday night. casting shari as the eradic female mafia goon, jackie as the riot grrrl/gangatsa and driver, bumping 50 cent out the lo-lo, reminding fools that her "fo-fo make sho all yall kids don't grow." and your truly as "that shitfaced fool" traversing between sleep and utter confusion at the complexity of it all.
since shari had lost her ID we were not permitted to go to any bars. so we took to some forties and had a little drinking race (in which i would once again end up winning). jackieand shari drove madly around wakiki in their bras and i would call out from the backseat, "Hey boys, ywansee sum titties?"
after terrorizing busy corners with cornuts and boobs we went to the porn store, which seems now like a very logical progression in events. i recorded some of the most intresting names of items for your reading pleasure:
The Bulldozer Buttplug (flesh colored toadstool also helpful in preventing olympic-sized-pool drainage)
Jena's Beaver (nature's first toothless beaver!)
Julian's Sensosleeve (they were out of stock of Julian's more popular Sandpapersleeve)
The MEGACLITBLASTER (It is illegal to write this name in lower case letters, you will be sued. really.)
Pecker 1st Aid Kit (oh you crazy ass moon)
replicocks(this should be included with the afformention kit)
The Black Hoe (Hoovers Beware)
waterproof rabbit (after recalling the original, not waterproof rabbit because it was producing an excess of rust, this product was produced as a revision)
wireless vibrating rabbit (the highly wired, 18 wires in all, vibrating rabbit proved to be too complicated in the urgency of "the moment".
18 inch double dong ( ! )
after leaving the store of a thgousand pleasures they dropped me off at hulas where billy, lawrence, sam, liko, and twan were kickin it homostyle. same ol same ol. once again, i drank another pitcher into a progressively dimming night.